Hooked

I never waste my time on reality shows, but I seem to be making an exception this spring. We’re hooked on Celebrity Apprentice.

It happened quite by accident. Our Sunday night TV watching usually starts with the Simpsons, but the new
FOX Sunday night lineup now has Bob’s Burgers following the Simpsons and we absolutely, positively, hate Bob’s Burgers and can’t imagine it surviving to a second season.

I never thought much about Donald Trump until recently. I encountered him once, back in the ‘90s when we passed on the escalators in Trump Tower. I’m sure he went home that evening and said to his then-wife Marla Maples, “Hey, guess who I saw on the escalator today.”

But I digress.

I initially saw him as an improbable presidential candidate, but American politics is full of improbabilities. I can’t conceive of a more improbable candidate than the incompetent America-hater who holds the office at the moment. Trump’s executive experience and achievements stand out in sharp relief against Barack Obama’s dubious accomplishments as a community organizer and legislator (who the hell votes “present?”), even after his two years of on-the-job training in the Oval Office. And I find myself agreeing with everything Trump says.

But the fascination of Celebrity Apprentice is in the interactions among the players. We cheered last night when the poisonous Dionne Warwick got fired. The women’s team is a hormonal holocaust, full of enormous egos. You expect a cat fight to break out at any moment, especially when Warwick was in the mix.

The men’s team seems to win every week in spite of Gary Busey. Busey is a likeable goof, but unless you have a job that calls on his acting skills, he’s the guy you have to work around to get things done. He’s the best argument for motorcycle helmets I’ve ever seen. Here’s what Wikipedia says about how he got that way:

On December 4, 1988, Busey was severely injured in a motorcycle accident in which he was not wearing a helmet. His skull was fractured, and doctors feared he suffered permanent brain damage.

At the recommendation of Dr. Drew Pinsky, Busey was seen by psychiatrist Dr. Charles Sophy. Sophy suspected that Busey's brain injury has had a greater effect on him than realized. He described it as essentially weakening his mental "filters" and causing him to speak and act impulsively. He recommended Busey take a medication called Depakote, to which he agreed.

Marvin Aday, aka Meat Loaf, finds Busey particularly exasperating and last night’s previews foretell a major blowup between the two on next week’s show. We can hardly wait.