Shopping as a first-person shooter video game

We went to Walmart this morning, I to refill a couple of prescriptions at the pharmacy and Maria to buy some groceries.

Since it took 30 minutes to fill the prescriptions, I walked over to the supermarket side of the store and shopped with Maria.

Maybe it was my mood, or maybe it was just the People of Walmart (see peopleofwalmart.com), but it occurred to me that you could design a splendid video game around the Walmart shopping experience, especially in the grocery department:

You start with a shopping list and can compete either against another player on split-screen or against the clock. Maybe the list is generic and you earn points for finding the least expensive example of each item on your list.

But just to make it interesting, let’s turn it into a first-person shooter game where you earn additional points for shooting people who get in your way or annoy you. But you have to shoot them in places there their bodies won’t block aisles. If they do, you take penalty points for having to call for “cleanup on aisle 4.” You get X points for a slow person in a powered shopping scooter, Y points for a misbehaving child, Z points for the kid’s parents. Or, maybe bonus points for taking kids away from publicly abusive parents and giving them to parents who know how to handle themselves and their children in public.

Extra points for people who are pushing bascarts but looking to the right or left instead of where they’re going. You can’t shoot Walmart employees unless they’re on their break. And you have to go to the sporting goods department to buy ammo when you run out, paying for it with some of your accumulated points.

The game should be structured such that at higher levels of play the other shoppers run when they see you coming. Maybe one in 10 at that level also has a gun and will try to shoot you in self-defense.

These are just the basic details. Anyone have other features to add?

I think we have a winner here. Since the target (heh heh) audience for a game like this is adults, I suggest making it an arcade game to put in places like Chuck-E-Cheese’s to give the grownups something to do.

Disclaimer: No, I am not advocating shooting people at Walmart or anywhere else. We’re talking video games here.