The "No Rent Check Blues"

Friend Lauri emailed me a link to this shirt, saying she thought of me immediately when she saw it, but can't imagine why.

I know why.

And if I had one, I'd be wearing it today because I'm nearing the end of my patience with our tenants.

He emailed early on Friday morning saying he had sent $550 of the $1,000 he was supposed to have paid us on Feb. 1. We still haven't seen it.

I sent him a very pointed reply, saying his promise to pay us the balance "around next Friday" (2/13) is unacceptable because we incur a substantial late penalty on the mortgage for the house he's living in if our payment arrives after Feb. 16.

I pointed out that he is in default and we are within our contractual rights to evict him and his family right now. I said we need the entire February rent, plus the contractual $125 late fee, immediately. And that we expect the March rent to be paid no later than March 5 and preferably on or before March 1.

Otherwise, I said, we will be forced to seek other tenants.

His reply was immediate: "We love the house and we will get this rectified. I won’t be late for the March payment or any other. I apologize for putting you in this situation."

But here we are, four days later, and still no check.

Fuck, shit, damn, ass, hell.