Thursday, January 31, 2008

The wolf is at the door

Starting next academic year, the Arkansas State University Indians will morph into wolves.

rotwulfForced by political correctness to abandon their Native American identity, ASU officials appointed a committee to come up with a new mascot name.

They had it down to two choices yesterday morning - Red Wolves or some kind of train. The red wolf connection is easy to get since that variety of wolves once roamed this part of the country. The train thing is a bit more abstract. This is a rail center where cotton, rice and other stuff passes through by rail. The railroad lines cut across the south side of the ASU campus and have long been a source of frustration for people in a hurry to get somewhere  on or off campus. Yeah, I know it's hard to imagine drivers around here being in any kind of a hurry, but I guess they think they are. Also, there is apparently a tradition of locomotive engineers waving to students - more likely leering at coeds - as they rumble past.

redwerewolfThe majority of the committee thought it would be a lot easier to cheer for wolves than for a train and after some  discussion, they voted unanimously to forward to the university blitzerpresident their recommendation for a wolf mascot. Not a red wolf, mind you, just a wolf.

So it could be a rabid wolf or a gay wolf or a mangy wolf or a werewolf or maybe even Wolf Blitzer. Who knows?

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