My lucky day

Marisha, my favorite barista at the Hastings Hardback Cafe, gives me one of these scratch-off tickets every time I buy my morning coffee. The stated goal is to scratch off only three of the circles and to have all three match. I always quit after two because my first two never match.

Until today.

I scratched off the bottom right and found a crown with the number 645, then I scratched off the first one in the second row and – damn! – another crown with 645. Then I scraped off the second circle in the bottom row. Holy crap! Another crown with 645! I’m a winner!

I didn’t suppose I could be lucky enough to win the advertised top prize of $250,000, but three crowns ought to be worth at least $1,000 – maybe more. I started thinking of what I could do with my winnings. A new set of tires for my bike and cash for a long ride in the West, maybe.

Or just pay some bills.

So I took my golden ticket to the counter and presented it to the cashier.

“Scratch off the Prize Box and see what you won,” he said.

So I breathlessly opened up my Swiss Army knife and scraped away the coating on the Prize Box, expecting something fabulous.

It said, “20% off a Howard the Duck DVD.”

Now I know how those poor schmucks feel who get suckered by phony lottery tickets on America’s Funniest Videos.

And, no, I didn’t buy the stupid DVD.