Thursday, April 25, 2013

Your healthcare dollars at work

howtosleep

I went to the doctor this afternoon to see if my self-diagnosis of a gallbladder problem was plausible.

Obamacare hasn’t compelled him to ask me about guns in my house yet, but it does require him to hand out “educational” material to each patient. I received this handout on best techniques to sleep – on my back or on my side – for back health. Homo sapiens has been around for about 200,000 years, but the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services – run by the Satanic Catherine Sibelius – thinks we need instructions on how to sleep. And you know who ends up paying for this crap. I told him to put my copy in the trash.

He agreed that the two episodes I’ve had, both of which followed a meal of fatty, greasy food, sound like a gallbladder problem, so he scheduled me for a gallbladder ultrasound a week from tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m definitely off of Kentucky Fried Chicken and Outback Steakhouse’s breaded, fried crawfish.

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