Guest post

Here's a guest post from Maria, e-mailed from the newspaper office this morning. The names have been changed to protect the guilty:


It will be a miracle if any work is done here today. Brandy came with her dog, for which she had permission, and her dorky husband, for which she did not. He's walking around wearing his cell phone head set.

And, of course, nothing goes simply with Brandy. The dog rolled in goose shit on the way to the car. They have to leave from here this afternoon to see family out of state.

So she called me on her way here to ask if I could make her an appointment with the dog groomer, which I did. The dog groomer rejected her in person, but on the phone gave me an appointment for him. I also found a pet store where my son works that does not offer grooming, but would let her bathe the dog in their sink.

In the meantime, Derek got Mary a darling beagle puppy, which also visited and is clad in a T-shirt. I swear I need to blog. The dog is named Emmy for Eminem the rapper. Em, at six weeks, is having trouble pooping today. Mary asked if she could keep the pup with her here.

How can I say 'no' when I've authorized the shit-covered dog? Mary is also worried the dog will contract Parvo and die like her other dog almost did. So she wants to keep an eye on this one. Em is on the floor now ripping into a cat-shaped toy. She won't walk without the leash in her mouth.

And Mary is on the phone with her fiancé telling him the dog has bad gas, but she doesn't think it hit me yet. I just sprayed Lysol as a pre-emptive move.

I haven't even seen Dan yet so I don't know if this will be a sober day.