We got up early this morning to go to the Department of Revenue office in hopes of swapping our Indiana driver's licenses for Arkansas licenses.
Hah!
We came away empty-handed, me exasperated and amused and Maria in a blind rage.
The experience reminded me of a Third World border crossing where the rules and regulations are subject to arbitrary and sudden change and are interpreted at the whim of whatever petty official you're dealing with. The only thing missing was the solicitation of a bribe.
Maria and I thought we had done our homework. Maria phoned ahead to determine what documentation she needed. I went online and checked the requirements as summarized on the Arkansas page of dmv.org, a site that lists the ins and outs of DMV regs for the various states. Maria learned she needed a copy of our marriage license since she had changed her name when we got married. So she called the Boone County clerk's office in Indiana and spent $4 for them to mail her a couple of copies. DMV.org said all I needed was my birth certificate and Social Security card.
We slogged through a heavy thunderstorm in morning rush hour traffic to arrive at the Revenue office a few minutes before 8 a.m. Walking through the door, we felt lucky that we didn't have to wait for them to open, since the hours posted on the door listed 7 a.m. as the beginning of their business day.
But that was the end of any good luck.
A portly guy in a woodland camo hat and jacket was at the counter listening to the clerk explain why they couldn't issue any driver's licenses today because the "flashbub" was out on the camera and the technician would have to come up from Little Rock to replace it.
Not wanting to waste the trip, Maria asked the clerk to confirm that she had all of the necessary documentation: Her marriage license, Indiana driver's license and Social Security card.
No, said the clerk. Under Homeland Security regulations, Maria needed to present a marriage license for each of her marriages (there was one before ours) documenting all of her names, as well as her birth certificate.
"We don't use Social Security cards. We haven't for a long time," the clerk said.
Maria was fuming because she has to have a valid Arkansas driver's license to make application for a program her newspaper is paying for. And it has to be done soon.
The clerk said the information on the official Arkansas DFA Office of Driver Services website is incorrect.
She said the person responsible for the site had tried to make changes for the last year and a half but can't seem to get it done.
She stared blankly when I suggested that person should be fired and replaced by someone who can do the job. I suspect the concept of someone being fired from a state patronage job is beyond her comprehension.
So the information on the official website is wrong and the information Maria got on the phone from the Revenue office was wrong and the only way to find out what is actually required is to physically go to the Revenue office and be turned away.
Fuming, Maria stalked out of the office.
I stayed behind to learn this clerk's version of how to plate our two cars and two motorcycles and what everything would cost.
We have to jump through an insane number of hoops to get our vehicles plated, including inspections and assessments from the county assessor's office.
But the one that blew my mind was her answer to the question, what is the fee for a driver's license.
"It depends on what state you're coming from and how old you are," she said.
Huh?
I asked if astrological birthsign or blood type entered into the formula and she didn't even blink.
When I got home, I went to the official Department of Revenue & Finance website to compare her information with what is allegedly the official line.
Licensed drivers moving to Arkansas must surrender their home state license and:
...Arkansas law requires persons obtaining a license for the first time to show proof of legal presence in the United States Acceptable documents are: a U.S. birth certificate, photo military/military dependent ID, Naturalization certificate, a U.S. passport or Visa, an Immigration and Naturalization Services (INS) photo document. (Border Crosser documents are not acceptable.) You must also show two forms of identification.
If name is different from what is on the Birth Certificate, applicant will need to bring document which changes name, Marriage License, Divorce Decree, specifically stating that you may change your name, or court order for name change.
Elsewhere on the site, we are told:
Each applicant must show either:
- An Arkansas Photo DL/ID, or
- Two (2) primary documents, or
- One (1) primary document and one (1) secondary document.
- Photo Out-of-State DL/ID
- Certificate of Birth (US Only)
- Photo INS Documents-(Immigration and Naturalization Services)- (No Border Crosser)
- Valid Passport (if foreign, INS card or US Visa required)
- Naturalization Certificate
- Court Order - must contain full name, DOB, court seal. Includes adoption name changes, gender change.
- Photo Military/Military Dependent ID
- Armed Forces Discharge Papers
Secondary Documents
- Photo Work/School ID
- Vehicle Registration/Title
- Bureau of Indian Affairs Card/Indian Treaty Card (No Tribal Card)
- Marriage License
- Health Insurance Card
Blue Cross/Blue Shield, Kaiser, HMO, etc. (Medicaid card NOT acceptable.) - IRS/State Tax Forms (W-2 NOT acceptable)
- Court Order (Date of Birth not present)
- Medical Records (from Doctor/Hospital)
- Concealed Handgun License
- Cert. School Transcript
- Pilot's License
- Parent/Guardian Affidavit
Parent/guardian must appear in person, prove his/her identity and submit a certified/notarized affidavit regarding the child's identity. Applies only to minors. - Court Records
- Prison Release Document
LEGAL PRESENCE AND IDENTIFICATION DOCUMENTS MAY BE COMBINED
Proof of legal presence documents may also serve as proof of identification. If a person shows a U.S. Birth Certificate as proof of legal presence, that will also serve as a primary identification document leaving only a secondary ID document requirement.
I checked the Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles site and found even more stringent identification regulations in place, making it obvious that the Department of Homeland Security is the source of this ridiculous series of hoops through which we are required to jump.
I don't mind playing the game, however silly its rules, as long as the requirements are clearly stated at the outset.
I'm leaving for Indiana in an hour to spend a few days tying up loose ends and doing what I hope is the final bunch of fix-ups and tweaks to get our house ready to market.
I'll stop by the county clerk's office and get Maria's earlier marriage license and see if I can pick up a copy of her birth certificate if she can't find one in our garage full of boxes.
Then we can go back to the Revenue office in Jonesboro and hope we get the same interpretation of the regulations that we got this morning. I'm not counting on it.
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