Watch his right eye

This is Chris Prentiss, the guy who hypes his Alcoholism and Addiction Cure book on TV.
The next time you see his commercial, watch his right eye. It's beyond creepy.

Lauri kicks ass again

Our friend Lauri Shillings is enormously talented and creative and she proved it once again yesterday at the 2010 Hoosier State Press Association Foundation Advertising Contest Awards in Indianapolis.

Lauri designs ads for the Crawfordsville Journal Review. The paper competes in the HSPA awards in the 6,000-14,999 circulation division, which includes several larger newspapers. No problem for Lauri.

She brought home four first place plaques and a total of 14 awards - 15 if you include one awarded to the JR staff.

Here's the Journal Review tally:

Best Home and Garden
3rd place, Lauri Shillings- Sears

Best Financial Ad
3rd Place, Lauri Shillings, PFC "Spring Cash"
2nd place, Lauri Shillings, PFC "Back to School"

Best Automotive Ad
2nd Place, Lauri Shillings, Horner - "Back to School"
1st Place, Lauri Shillings, Horner - "Coming Soon- Buick Lacrosse"

Best Real Estate Ad
2nd Place, Lacey Wheeler, Linda Walsh- Carpenter realtors "Time is Running out"

Best Fashion and Personal Care
3rd Place, Lauri Shillings, Creek Jewelry "Diamond Remount Event"

Best Entertainment and Lifestyles
3rd Place, Lauri Shillings, Cville Parks & Rec "Yoga Classes"

Best Political Ad
2nd Place, Lauri Shillings, "Re-elect Michelle Cash"
1st Place, Lauri Shillings, "Elect Hal Utterback Sheriff"

Best Thinking Out of the Box Ad
1st Place, Lauri Shillings, Cville Square/Lamar Property Mgmt "Community Fair"

Best Multi Advertiser with a common Theme
2nd Place, Lauri Shillings, Downtown Crawfordsville "Eggnourmous Event"

Best Non-inserted Niche Publication
3rd place, Lauri Shillings and Staff for "Montgomery County Cooks"
2nd place, Staff for "Montgomery County Essentials"

Best Non ROP and NON Traditinal Product
2nd place, Lauri Shillings, Athena Sport & Fitness insert flyer "Yes You Can!"
1st Place, Lauri Shillings, Journal Review Reader Rewards Card

Best ROP Series or Campaign
3rd Place, Lacey Wheeler, Blue monkey bar "Go Bananas"
2nd place, Lauri Shillings, Muffs & Tails "Holy Cow- that's a loud Muffler"

Best Event Marketing ad
2nd place - Lacey Wheeler, Cville Square/ Lamar property mgmt "Boo Party"
1st Place, Lacey Wheeler, "Taste of Montgomery County"

Lacey and Lauri with their HSPA hardware.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pin of the Day

This is the rally pin from the 2000 BMW MOA rally in Midland, Mich.
I was there, along with several of my Indianapolis BMW Club friends. It was the most organized campground configuration I can remember at a 'MOA rally. I bought my first set of Frogg Toggs rain gear at that rally and ran into Jim Bradshaw, who grew up a block from me in Delphi, Ind. He was there on his custom painted RS, having ridden up from Atlanta.

 

Here's my bike and tent at sunrise at the Midland rally.

Bib, not Bip

 

Behold the original Michelin man. I mistakenly thought his name was Mons. Bip. It is, instead, Mons. Bibendum, or Mons. Bib for short. Here's the Wikipedia explanation of how he came to be the symbol of the French tire manufacturer

Bibendum, commonly referred to as the Michelin Man, is the symbol of the Michelin tire company. Introduced at the Lyon Exhibition of 1894 where the Michelin brothers had a stand,^[1] Bibendum is one of the world's oldest trademarks. The slogan Nunc est bibendum (literally "Now it is to be drunk" in Latin, though usually translated "Now, let's drink") is taken from Horace's Odes (book I, ode xxxvii, line 1). He is also referred to as Bib or Bibelobis.^[2]
While attending the Universal and Colonial Exposition in Lyon in 1894, Edouard and André Michelin noticed a stack of tyres that suggested to Edouard the figure of a man without arms. Four years later, André met French cartoonist Marius Rossillon, popularly known as O'Galop, who showed him a rejected image he had created for Munich brewery—a large, regal figure holding a huge glass of beer and quoting Horace's phrase "Nunc est bibendum". André immediately suggested replacing the man with a figure made from tyres. Thus O'Galop transformed the earlier image into Michelin's symbol. Today, Bibendum is one of the world's most recognised trademarks, representing Michelin in over 150 countries.
The 1898 poster showed him offering the toast Nunc est bibendum!!.. to his scrawny competitors with a glass full of road hazards, with the title and the tag C'est à dire: À votre santé. Le pneu Michelin boit l'obstacle ("That is to say, to your health. The Michelin tyre drinks up obstacles"). The implication is that Michelin tires will imbibe debris, keeping roads safe for bicyclists and motorists. The company used this basic poster format for fifteen years, adding its latest products to the table in front of the figure. It is unclear when the word "Bibendum" came to be the name of the character himself. At the latest, it was in 1908, when Michelin commissioned Curnonsky to write a newspaper column signed "Bibendum".
Since 1912, tyres have taken on a black appearance because carbon is added as a preservative and strengthener to the base rubber material. Before then, tyres took on a gray-white or light, translucent beige colour. This helps explain why Bibendum is white, though modern tyres are black.^[3]
The name of the plump tyre-man has entered the language to describe someone obese or wearing comically bulky clothing. (e.g. "How can I wrap up warm without looking like the Michelin Man?")^[4]
In Spanish, Michelín^[5] has acquired the meaning of the "spare tyre", or folds of fatty skin around the waist.
Bibendum's shape has changed over the years. O'Galop's logo was based on bicycle tyres, wore pince-nez glasses with lanyard, and smoked a cigar. By the 1980s, Bibendum was being shown running, and in 1998, his 100th anniversary, a slimmed-down version became the company's new logo. He had long since given up the cigar and pince-nez. The slimming of the logo reflected lower-profile, smaller tyres of modern cars. Bib even had a similar-looking puppy as a companion when the duo were CGI animated for recent American television advertisements.
A history of the emblem was written by Olivier Darmon and published in 1997: Le grand siècle de Bibendum; Paris: Hoëbeke.^[6]

Stroke

A longtime friend is recovering from a stroke and recently sent me this account of his experience:

On June 2, I was driving to St. Francis Hospital's outpatient clinic for a routine stress test for heart.The hospital is about 7 miles from home. Not quite halfway there, I ran off the right side of a two-lane road for no reason. I came back onto the street, and made a right turn a few blocks later. In the middle of the turn, I suddenly went double vision, then triple vision. The SUV I was meeting became three, and the car in front of me became three. the two yellow lines on the road became four yellow lines. But, nothing in my brain told me to stop. So, I kept driving, eye glasses falling off my face, visions of people's terrified faces (people I was meeting and heading at head-on, I'm guessing, before swerving back into my lane) and blurred and tripple vision of a traffic signal, which I recall was green in color. Yet I kept driving because nothing told me to stop. I drove to the hospital, ran over two parking lot curbs, walked into the building and signed in at the stress test window.
Still, I said nothing. I gave them insurance information and sat down, at which time i sensed a veil - get this - coming over my head in the form of a tan chamois. That lasted about a minute, then cleared up and they called my name to go back and get the stress test.
I walked in, sat down, and told the technician that I couldn't do it. Asked why, I told her and the next thing I knew they were wheeling me to the emergency room. They gave me an MRI, CAT scans, blah, blah, blah, They called my wife and she called our pastor and friend and they met me at the hospital. The doctors there said it was a mild stroke and they sent me home with instructions to prepare for a larger stroke, possibly in a week or two. But, they sent me to a cardiologist and neurologist who put me on all kind of meds to prevent blood clots.

Two weeks ago, they finished a number of tests and the diagnosis was "mild stroke," probably a blood clot from my heart that went to the brain, hung around for a few minutes, and moved on.

I'm now on blood thinner that requires weekly blood tests and an assortment of meds.

CAT scans showed I have had several previous mild strokes, so the concern is that a big one needs to be avoided.

As mild as it was, it did a number of me in terms of dizziness and feeling like my head was in a vise. It gradually went away and I have good and bad days. Today was a kind of bad day.

That's caused by thin blood, but the cardiologist two weeks ago told me I have no choice.

"That, or a wheelchair," he told me. The good news is that I'm not slobbering on myself and limping like I've got a rock in my left shoe.

Chip off the old block

Son Steve reports Granddaughter Lisa aced her first spelling test today. Some of the harder words were:
tapestry
satisfactory
tangerine.

Grandpa was the champion speller of Delphi High School.

Getting better all the time

Ruthie the Wonder Dog is making great progress since her knee surgery a couple of weeks ago.
We were afraid she would get into the habit of getting around on three legs and that her right rear leg might continue to be a useless appendage.
But she's been putting her right rear paw onto the ground with increasing frequency and force over the past several days and it looks like she's on her way to a full recovery.
Apparently canine knee surgery is a fairly routine procedure.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pin of the Day

This is the pin from the 1988 BMW MOA rally in Madison, Ind. Madison is on the Ohio River, hence the bridge in the background. I always thought this was a particularly lame design because it includes neither the year nor the location.

I was there aboard my 1981 R100RS. It was insanely hot.

Here I am at the Madison rally with the Michelin man and Linda Balough.

Good advice

I found this over on Kate’s Electric Venom blog. It’s from the Holstee web site.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pin of the Day

This is the rally pin from the 1985 BMW MOA rally in Lake Wales, Fla.

I did not attend because my long-haul motorcycle touring career didn’t begin until the next summer when I rode to the BMW MOA rally in California. It was the southernmost rally venue in the history of BMW MOA national rallies and an unlikely destination for the middle of July.

Morgan’s on her way

My stepdaughter Morgan is coming for a visit and arrives today. She’s flying from Tucson to Denver, Denver to Dallas, and Dallas to Little Rock.
Yeah, putting Denver into the mix adds about 500 miles. I have no idea why the airlines are routing her that way since we were able to fly directly from Tucson to Dallas in June. At least it earns her some extra frequent flyer miles.
My FlightTrack iPod app shows United Airlines Flight 6644 is about to land at Denver International Airport, down to 284 mph and 9,600 feet, scheduled to touch down there in about 3 minutes.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pin of the Day

This is the pin from the 1997 BMW MOA rally in Fredericksburg, Texas.

It was the only mid-week ‘MOA national rally. I thought it was a stupid idea to have a national rally in July in Texas and didn’t much care for the mid-week concept either, so I stayed home.

Still wonky

My '03 BMW K1200GT's starter button continues to be wonky, despite $208 worth of shop time at Grass Roots BMW Motorcycles.

It's an intermittent problem that has thus far eluded the technicians, one of whom opined it could be caused by a problem in the sidestand or clutch switches that relate to starter operation. I pushed it 8 times without success this morning before I whipped out my camera and pushed it another 5 times before it finally started.

They’re everywhere

I don’t know if this is a regional thing or if it’s gaining in popularity everywhere, but I’ve only see the proliferation of “in loving memory” stickers here in Arkansas.

Driving around over the weekend, I must have seen a dozen of these things stuck on the back windows of cars, pickups and SUVs. The one in the photo above is among the largest I’ve seen, plastered right in the middle of the rear window of a Toyota. This one commemorated the life of a boy who died at the age of 16 or 17, depending on whether he’d had his birthday before he died in 1999.

The deceased are almost always boys or young men in their late teens or early 20s – the period when testosterone intoxication it most intense and kids feel like they’re invincible. These are the ones who got vinced.

On one hand, it would be easy to make fun of these stickers as a yahoo cultural artifact – note the Confederate flag and misused apostrophe in the photo – but they also represent real grief and loss. Who’s to say I wouldn’t stick something like that on the back window of my car if one of my kids died? I hope I never have to find out.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pins of the Day

This is the pin from the 1991 BMW MOA rally in Flagstaff, Ariz. It’s one of my favorite pin designs from a really great rally destination.

I attended with my then-brand new pearl silver 1991 K100RS. I spent a week in Breckenridge with my Indianapolis BMW Club friends. Seven of us went on to the Top O’ the Rockies rally in Paonia, Colo., then rode down through Utah, hitting Bryce Canyon and Zion national parks before making a spur-of-the-moment run over to Las Vegas so two of our number could get new tires. Craig Caldwell and I left the other five to enjoy a night in Vegas while we rode east to Flagstaff. Craig had to get home to Indiana and I needed to ride down to Phoenix the next morning to meet my wife’s plane.

And here’s the pin from the Paonia rally, which was also the BMW RA national rally that year.

Bonus rally pin

This pin was created on the occasion of the 1986 BMW MOA rally at Laguna Seca Racetrack by the seven member dealers of the Norcal BMW Dealer Association. The dealer landscape has changed a bit since then.

Sutures out, Ruthie’s knee is healing nicely

I took Ruthie back to the vet this afternoon to have her checked out and to have the sutures removed from her right knee.

She’s started putting her right hind foot onto the ground lightly when she walks – started doing it yesterday. The vet watched her walk up and down the hall and opined that she’s progressing nicely – right on schedule.

She goes back for another checkup in two weeks.

Tree falls in woods. And we heard it.

We were watching TV about 11:30 Saturday night when we heard and felt what we took to be an explosion.

We went outside with a high-powered flashlight and scanned the neighborhood, but couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. The next morning, however, we were having breakfast on the back porch when Maria noticed a big tree near our western wooded property line had fallen. It was about 45 feet tall and most of it is covered with poison ivy, which means it will be awhile before I’ll attack it with a chainsaw. I estimate it weighed at least a ton, which explains the explosion-like impact.

There was no wind at the time and it’s ironic that it withstood a huge thunderstorm with high winds just last Thursday evening, considering that its roots had such a tenuous grip on the sandy soil.

Time-warp lede or just gibberish?

The local TV station talking heads are introducing a flu shot story with, "In the wake of the impending flu season..."

Another example of the mindless stringing together of words that characterizes local TV news.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pin of the Day

 

This is the pin from the 1995 BMW MOA rally at Durango, Colo. I was there on my ‘91 K100RS.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pin of the Day

This pin is from the 1992 BMW MOA rally in DuQuoin, Ill.

I was there on my 1991 K100RS. I had the dubious distinction of being called to the stage during the closing ceremonies to pick up my credit card, which I had inadvertently left with one of the rally vendors.

Angels

I was still doing freelance work for my former newspaper back in November, 2003 when I wrote this. It seems appropriate to share it here today, being the 9th anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001 attack. Note the reference in the story to that event:

As soft as a whisper amid the din of traffic and commercial signs, a pair of unique billboards appeared along Indianapolis-area interstate highways this year, imparting an angelic message of comfort and hope.
And, like angelic apparitions, they vanish after a time only to reappear somewhere else.
The billboards feature images of angels by artist Nancy Noel with the simple message, "God bless Humanity" and "Bless Humanity." They display no Web site, no phone number, no address -- just the attribution, "N.A. Noel."
They first popped up last summer along I-465 on Indianapolis' Eastside and along I-65 at Lebanon. More recently, they've been reported on either side of I-465 on Indianapolis' Westside.
"I pass by one of them on my way to work by the airport," said Amy Sanford Reynolds, who works in information technology for Eli Lilly and Co.
She was moved to send Noel an e-mail saying, "Each day as I drive to work, I am blessed with the joy of your work! I am fortunate to pass a billboard covered with one of your angel prints and the words 'Bless Humanity.'
"It is a much needed reminder of the beauty and worth in life. I hope that everyone else in their early morning rush takes the time to see your art and be reminded of the important things in life."
Added Reynolds: "She's doing a service to everybody just by reminding us that, even though there is all the war and aggression going on, there is something peaceful and positive that we can do for ourselves."
Eric Brotheridge, a former banker now studying for the ministry at Christian Theological Seminary, wrote to Noel on July 24 to say:
"This morning on the southeast corner of the I-465 loop, I noticed the 'God Bless Humanity' billboard. Thank you for a wonderful breath of fresh air!
"It is good to see that the colors of God's creation are more numerous and subtle than red, white, and blue; and to see that God's blessing is invoked for all of creation rather than for one particular country or cause."
Brotheridge emphasizes he is not anti-American.
"I love the blessings this country bestows on me as a citizen, but it's nice that a prophetic voice can be mounted on a billboard aside the interstate. Unfortunately, the call to universality is not one that is heard much in today's culture."
Noel lives and works on her Llandfair Farm southwest of Zionsville, where she also raises horses and llamas.
She characterizes her work as American contemporary realism and has won a wide following with her evocative paintings of animals and children.
A highly successful series of paintings of Amish children helped her become a prosperous artist, publishing more than 100 limited and open edition prints in the past 15 years. Her portraits command prices in the $20,000 range, and new subjects go on a two-year waiting list.
She began painting angels about five years ago, about the time she began to think more deeply about life and spiritual issues.
"I did angels because I decided to stop doing Amish for a while, and I'd wanted to work with kids.
"I really didn't understand what I was doing, and then I started getting all these letters from people who said I'd really inspired them and changed their lives and people saying they were going to commit suicide, and they saw one of my paintings and changed their minds," she said.
"I get thousands of letters like that.
"I got an e-mail just recently from a gal who was in (the World Trade Center on) 9/11. She apparently purchased some of my work and was writing me to tell me how inspirational my angels were to her and how they helped her in her recovery after 9/11.
"She said she got out with some bruises and cuts, and when she got outside, the only memory she had of the inside was all the angels who were swooping down around her and the people who were jumping out of the windows and so forth.
"Once she kind of got herself together and started talking to other people who had gotten out by the skin of their teeth, other people started to say to her, 'This is what I saw -- I saw all these angels in there flying around.' "
The response to the angel paintings led Noel to collaborate with writer Amy Nolfo-Wheeler in 1996 on "All God's Creatures go to Heaven," the illustrated story of Jacob, a child angel.
"One woman came up to me at (the) Penrod (Art Fair) right after I did my book, and she just grabbed my arm. I looked at her and I knew that she had seen an angel. I said, 'You've seen an angel, haven't you?' and she said, 'Yes!' "
Noel, who was raised in the Catholic Church, said her images aren't based on anything she's ever seen but rather what she feels. She's continually surprised that people who claim to have seen an angel tell her she got it right.
So in the aftermath of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the United States, Noel found herself wanting to send out a message of comfort.
She'd had some conversations with officials at Lamar Outdoor Advertising about commercial billboard advertising, and one day last spring called Jane Mills, marketing manager for Lamar's Indiana region.
"The war in Iraq had just broken out, and she called and said she wanted to do a couple of billboards," Mills recalled.
She said Noel paid for the vinyl billboard artwork, and Lamar agreed to donate billboards on a space-available basis.
"We've never done anything like this before," Mills said, "But we've had a lot of positive feedback. People just think they're absolutely beautiful. One person said, 'Oh, it just gave me chills.' "
According to Indiana Department of Transportation traffic counts, the drivers and passengers of as many as 70,000 vehicles get a look at the two Westside billboard sites in an average day.
The image on the "Bless Humanity" billboard is a painting aptly titled "Whisper," and it has a special resonance for Kelli Griego, a 27-year-old mother in Troy, Ohio.
Her daughter, Alicia, was stillborn at 32 weeks in June 2002.
Some time after, she opened a catalog of Noel's work to the page that included "Whisper."
"I said, 'Oh, my God! That's my baby.' Even though I lost my baby in infancy, that's exactly how I had pictured she would look when she was older," Griego said.
Griego, who has a 5-year-old and is expecting another child in March, said, "It was a very difficult time for me, but when I looked at that painting, I was reassured. I was sure that my baby was OK. It's like the image was sent from above."
Griego said she and her husband plan to drive the 125 miles from Troy to Indianapolis one of these weekends to see the billboard image that means so much to them.
While Noel may be somewhat mystified at the response her paintings evoke, Amy Reynolds firmly believes it's all happening for a reason.
"I believe a divine muse has touched her for a specific reason for each painting, because each painting evokes an emotion," she said.
"We see what we need to see in them, whether they are comforting, make us smile or give us a remembrance of one we lost."

Shopping as a first-person shooter video game

We went to Walmart this morning, I to refill a couple of prescriptions at the pharmacy and Maria to buy some groceries.

Since it took 30 minutes to fill the prescriptions, I walked over to the supermarket side of the store and shopped with Maria.

Maybe it was my mood, or maybe it was just the People of Walmart (see peopleofwalmart.com), but it occurred to me that you could design a splendid video game around the Walmart shopping experience, especially in the grocery department:

You start with a shopping list and can compete either against another player on split-screen or against the clock. Maybe the list is generic and you earn points for finding the least expensive example of each item on your list.

But just to make it interesting, let’s turn it into a first-person shooter game where you earn additional points for shooting people who get in your way or annoy you. But you have to shoot them in places there their bodies won’t block aisles. If they do, you take penalty points for having to call for “cleanup on aisle 4.” You get X points for a slow person in a powered shopping scooter, Y points for a misbehaving child, Z points for the kid’s parents. Or, maybe bonus points for taking kids away from publicly abusive parents and giving them to parents who know how to handle themselves and their children in public.

Extra points for people who are pushing bascarts but looking to the right or left instead of where they’re going. You can’t shoot Walmart employees unless they’re on their break. And you have to go to the sporting goods department to buy ammo when you run out, paying for it with some of your accumulated points.

The game should be structured such that at higher levels of play the other shoppers run when they see you coming. Maybe one in 10 at that level also has a gun and will try to shoot you in self-defense.

These are just the basic details. Anyone have other features to add?

I think we have a winner here. Since the target (heh heh) audience for a game like this is adults, I suggest making it an arcade game to put in places like Chuck-E-Cheese’s to give the grownups something to do.

Disclaimer: No, I am not advocating shooting people at Walmart or anywhere else. We’re talking video games here.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pin of the Day

This is the rally pin from the 1979 BMW MOA rally in Brainerd, Minn.

That was two years before I bought my first BMW motorcycle and joined the BMW MOA so, of course, I wasn’t there.

Knotty pine! Ooooooooo!

Remember knotty pine cabinets? I found this classic kitchen photo at Box of Slides. Go see what else you can find there.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pin of the Day

This is the rally pin from the 1982 BMW MOA rally at Shreve, Ohio.

I didn’t attend, although I think I was a member by then. I had bought my first BMW – a 1971 R50/5 – the previous year.

My 2¢ worth

Yes, I get the appeal of burning copies of the Quran, but considering that the Muslim world is full of dangerous, irrational, emotional, crazies, I can’t see any reason to stir them up more than we have already.

On the other side of the coin, Gen. Patraeus warns that it “could endanger troops and it could endanger the overall effort in Afghanistan.”

I think the safety of our troops far outweighs the momentary satisfaction of insulting people who want to drag us all back into the dark ages.

T-shirt philosophy

 

I’ll concede at the outset that I’m probably over-thinking this. And, like most things, the images and words you wear on your clothing are a matter of personal taste, which is a non-debatable issue.

Having said that, let’s talk about t-shirts, shall we?

I was cruising the men’s department at Dillard’s on Saturday because they had a big-ass Labor Day weekend sale with 50 percent off all of their already-discounted men’s clothing. It was almost like having Dillard’s Discount Store back in business here. The prices were great, but I couldn’t really justify buying anything, having a closet still jammed with the enormous wardrobe I bought three years ago when the discount store was blowing out Dillard’s merchandise for 10 cents on the dollar. Maria finally prevailed upon me to buy a shirt.

But I digress.

I noticed some racks of t-shirts with generic or fantasy product advertising on them. Like the “Support Your Local Motorcycle Shop -  Daytona Beach, Fla.” shirt with a generic motorcycle image.

Assuming that a person wears a decorated t-shirt to say something to the world, what does this shirt tell the observer?

It tells me that the wearer wants the coolness cachet of motorcycling, but doesn’t know shit about bikes. A real motorcycle fan/rider would wear something more specific, referencing a particular brand, motorcycle shop/dealership or maybe a motorcycle event like a rally or a race. The shirt at Dillard’s comes off as something to be worn by the superficial and lame to impress the superficial and lame.

Ditto, the one advertising Big Koals Stogies. I suppose the wearer might hope people would think he’s a macho cigar smoker, but mostly – since there is no such brand - he would come off as a poser and a dope.

Maybe it’s just the idea of wearing something with what you think is a cool concept associated with it. It calls to mind the t-shirt an American spotted in Tokyo proclaiming “Surfing My Life!”

My preference is to wear only stuff that I (here’s that personal taste thing) feel has gravitas – substance, meaning, worth, importance, or else conveys a sense of irony or whimsy.

For instance, my t-shirt wardrobe is 99 percent BMW motorcycle-related, shirts from dealers across the country, rallies I’ve attended, or just stuff bearing the BMW logo. That’s because I love BMW motorcycles, to the tune of more than 300,000 BMW miles. I have a couple of Nikon shirts because I like and use Nikon cameras. I have a Breitling cap because I love my Breitling Chrono Avenger wristwatch. I’ll wear North Face and Columbia-marked clothing because I like the brands and think they have quality.

But I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything with the Old Navy name because I think their stuff is overpriced crap. Abercrombie and Hollister fall into the same category.

I guess it comes down to not wanting to advertise something I don’t like or believe in. And I reflexively expect everyone else to make that kind of conscious decision about the messages they send with their clothing choices. Silly me.

My friend Art Harris turned me onto Willis & Geiger clothing a few months before the brand went extinct. He bought a windproof sweater that had a nifty W&G patch on the left sleeve. He paid a seamstress to remove it because he refuses to wear anything that could be construed as advertising. I bought two of those sweaters – one for Maria and one for myself – and left the patch on both of them.

Sorry if you like Old Navy or Abercrombie or Hollister. Those t-shirts at Dillard’s just got me stirred up and pissed off.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pin of the Day

This is the pin from the 1998 BMW MOA rally in Missoula, Mont. It was the second such rally in Missoula, the first being in 1984. There have been two other repeat venues for the ‘MOA rally – Oshkosh, Wis. (1976, 1993) and Redmond, Ore. (2001, 2010).

That was the year Montana decided to drop its interstate speed limit in favor of “reasonable and prudent” speeds. Consequently, I spent several hours cruising at 100 mph and above on I-90, but still got passed by several other BMW riders en route to the rally.

I rode on to Portland to visit my son Sean after the rally, picking up a speeding ticket in the Palouse region of eastern Washington.

Paul Bachorz’s obituary from the Saratoga Springs (NY) Saratogian

Paul M. Bachorz
BALLSTON SPA — Paul M. Bachorz, 68, died Thursday, Sept. 2, 2010, at Saratoga Hospital.
He was born in Hoosick Falls.
Paul served for 20 years in the U.S. Navy. He was in the Seabees and actively served in Desert Storm. He retired as senior chief.
He was a member of the Peace Corps and the New York State Militia. He was also a ham radio operator and member of Saratoga Amateur Radio Association.
Paul was a social studies teacher for 34 years and a golf coach for more than 30 years at Niskayuna High School, retiring in 2001. He was also a past president of the Ballston Spa Board of Education and was on the Saratoga/Washington County BOCES board.
Paul was a member of the Ballston Spa Elks Lodge and served on the board of directors at the Ballston Spa Country Club. He was a member of the BMW Owners of America and the BMW Motorcycle Owners of Vermont. (And he was a trustee of the BMW Riders Association.)
He was predeceased by his father, Francis Bachorz; and brother, Walter Bachorz.
Survivors include his wife of 41 years, Judith M. Bachorz; his daughters, Patricia (Nick) Bachorz of Montclair, N.J., and Pam (Jason) Bachorz of Washington, D.C.; his mother, Carolyn Garbacz Bachorz; his brother, James (Barbara) Bachorz of Niskayuna; his grandson, Noah; and many nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins.
A memorial celebration will be Sunday, Sept. 26, 2-5 p.m. Town of Milton Community Center, 310 Northline Road, Ballston Spa.

The family suggests memorial contributions be made to Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation, 302 Ridgefield Court, Asheville, NC 28806-2243.
To light a candle, go to www.mevecfuneralhome.com.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pin of the Day

This is the bronze rally pin from the 2002 BMW MOA rally in Trenton, Ontario, Canada. Its design was inspired by the Canadian $1 coin, called a “looney” because it features the image of a loon.

I was there, aboard my 1991 BMW K100RS. The rally site was next to a Royal Canadian Air Force base, so we were treated to frequent flyovers by F/A-18 Hornet fighters.

Who doesn’t love Key lime pie?

BMW Rally Pin of the Day

This is the pin from the 1984 BMW MOA rally at Missoula, Mont.

I didn’t attend, but I have the pin in my collection anyway.

Bike hauling and festivities

 I’m damp and a little chilled, having spent some time in the rain before showing up at Seattle Grind for my late afternoon coffee.
I went to Grass Roots BMW Motorcycles in Cape Girardeau today with my BMW friend Charlie. He had two bikes that needed attention and Maria’s bike had a problem that exceeded my mechanical expertise. We put his R75/5 and Maria’s K75S onto a trailer behind his Toyota FJ and Charlie rode his K100RT sidecar rig while I drove the FJ.
Maria’s bike, as you may recall from earlier posts, needed a new battery and a new starter relay. I could have managed the battery, but the starter relay lives under the gas tank, which involves removing the fairing. That’s more than I cared to take on, so off it went to the dealer.
Charlie and Deb brought the FJ and trailer over last evening and we loaded Maria’s bike just before dark, leaving trailer and FJ parked in our yard overnight.
Indianapolis BMW friend Rick Nelson called Saturday from Bull Shoals, Ark. to ask if he could drop by on Monday to do an oil change on his R1200GS. Of course he could.
So we invited our new chiropractor Susan, who arrived shortly after Rick and we made party out of the afternoon, chowing down on barbecue, macaroni and cheese followed by crackers and a big wheel of brie.
We prevailed upon Rick to spend the night in our guest room and use our laundry facilities before he rode off about 8:30 a.m. to work his way east toward next week’s Beemers in the Bluegrass BMW rally near Frankfort, Ky.
The trip to the Cape was uneventful and included lunch at a brewpub overlooking the Mississippi River. We encountered heavy rain and lightning  on I-55 south of New Madrid, Mo. and remained in rain all the way home.
We paused at Mr. T’s Riverside to buy beer. I was surprised and delighted to see they now carry Little Kings Cream Ale, something I thought went extinct years ago. I bought an 8-pack and Charlie picked up a 6-pack of Leinenkugel Oktoberfest.

BMW Motorcycle Rally Pin of the Day

This is the rally pin from the 1986 BMW MOA rally in at Laguna Seca Raceway near Monterey, Calif.

This was my first BMW MOA rally and my first cross-country motorcycle trip. I rode my 1981 BMW R100RS in the company of Tim and Linda Balough. It was a liberating and life-altering experience and I’ve never been the same since.

I have only spotty recollections of my life in the decade before that ride. It’s almost like I was sleep-walking. Everything since stands out in clear relief.

Start me up

I made this video this afternoon to illustrate to the guys at Grass Roots BMW Motorcycles that my starter button – part of the right combination switch cluster – is still wonky.

The cluster was replaced in early July, but the new starter button soon started displaying the same reluctance to fire on the first push that caused the almost $500 replacement.

Naturally, when I took the bike to Grass Roots soon after returning from my Oregon and points west trip, the techs couldn’t get it to misbehave. Ditto the intermittent failures of the associated right turn signal button and turn signal cancellation button. The later two have functioned perfectly since they fiddled with the connections, leading me to believe they unwittingly firmed up the connections.

However, the starter button continues to work less than 100% of the time.

It fired on the second push for this video.

I’ve emailed the video to Grass Roots for their consideration.

Just wrong

You haven’t lived until you’ve heard former Beach Boy Brian Wilson singing “I loves you, Porgy…”

This memorable song from Porgy and Bess is, of course, meant to be sung by a woman. So when I heard Brian Wilson’s voice intoning it over the sound system at Barnes & Noble, it gave rise to a bit of cognitive dissonance.

As in, WTF???

So I went to Amazon.com (sorry, B&N) and did a search for “brian wilson gershwin” and discovered that there actually is an album called “Brian Wilson Reimagines Gershwin.”

Amazon.com customer reviewer S. Adler articulated my thoughts precisely:

I love Brian and I love Gershwin but I hate this album. The arrangements are cheesy and very derivative of earlier beach boys/Brian Wilson solo albums and Brian's doesn't have--and never had--the vocal skills to sing these songs with the nuance they deserve. Really painful listening to this.

But still it plays on. “Summertime” now. Aaaiiiiiiieeeeeeee! Make it stop!
It's the most unintentionally hilarious album since William Shatner's "The Transformed Man."

Ruthie is home

I picked Ruthie up at the vet’s office about 10:30 this morning. She seems in good spirits, albeit moving slowly and gingerly.

The vet said the knee surgery was a complete success and wants to see her in 10 days.

In the meantime, she is on twice-daily pain meds and thrice-daily antibiotics with orders not to run or jump. Consequently, she’ll only go to the back yard on a leash and spend most of her time lounging around in the house.

Thanks again for all of the prayers and kind words.

Godspeed, Paul Bachorz

My friend and fellow BMW rider Paul Bachorz died last night of heart failure in a hospital in upstate New York.

Paul coordinated the rally photographers at the 2008 and 2009 BMW MOA International Rallies in Gillette, Wyo. and Johnson City, Tenn. He also wrote a touring tips column for the organization’s BMW Owners News.

Paul was a genuinely good guy. He was rallymeister for the BMW RA rally in Pownal, Vt., in July, but fell ill after the rally and was hospitalized July 31. On Aug. 3, he wrote on his Facebook page, “Still ordered off feet by hospital. No idea source of fever. Maybe it’s rally rat fever.”

“Looks like it is Lyme Disease. Real nasty stuff,” he wrote on Aug. 21.

Paul’s last post was on Aug. 23, when he wrote, “Hospital tired of having me here. Hope to be on the road soon.”

His daughter Pam posted on Wednesday morning that “Dad is in grave condition today. Please send healing light and prayers.”

She posted again last night announcing that Paul had died.

This photo was taken by BMW MOA board member Gail Hatch.

Ruthie report

The vet’s office called about 12:35 p.m. to report that Ruthie came through the surgery just fine and the knee repair was a success.

She also has arthritis in her left knee and some in her back, but neither requires any attention at the moment.

Thanks to everyone for the prayers and good wishes.

Surgery day for Ruthie

I dropped Ruthie off at the vet’s office at 9 a.m. for her knee surgery.

She seemed excited to be going somewhere and strained at her leash to greet other dogs in the waiting room.

They’ll call me when it’s over with a status report and she’ll spend the night there for observation.

I will, of course, file timely reports here.

The Apostrophe Song

The one on the tombstone blows my mind.

This is from Britain. Funny, I supposed the apostrophe confusion was a purely American aberration.

Did I ever mention how much I hate snakes?

Preparing for bed last night, I walked into the kitchen to take a few pills. Something on the tile floor next to the sink caught my eye and… HOLY SHIT! A SNAKE!

WHAT THE FUCK IS A SNAKE DOING IN MY HOUSE?

Granted, it wasn’t a very big snake – probably a quarter-inch in diameter and maybe a foot long (the tiles are 18 inches square, to give you some perspective).

Turns out it was a harmless rough green snake (Opheodrys aestivus). Here's what the Arkansas Game & Fish Commission says about them:

Rough green snakes are active during the day from April to early October. Our most arboreal (tree-dwelling) snake, it prefers the bushes or shrubs along the edge of streams and swamps. Also found on open brushy ridges. Breeding can occur in spring or autumn and from 1-10 eggs are laid in June-July. It specializes in feeding on caterpillars, grasshoppers, crickets, dragonflies, damselflies and spiders.

Maria and I have an understanding. I will take care of any rodents that show up and she will do the same for snakes. So I stood by while she swept the snake onto a dustpan and dumped it into a big red pickle bucket. She took it out to the back yard and dumped it into the grass.

A snake in my house is right up there with my worst fears and even if this guy was miniscule, the prospect of stepping on him barefoot in the middle of the night is unspeakably horrifying.

My best guess is that he came in from the garage through a tiny gap in the rubber sweep under the house door to the garage. Either that, or he came in through the back porch during a time when I had the house door open to let the dogs to and fro.

Red Gold ketchup at Slim Chickens

Maria and I had lunch today at the new Slim Chickens restaurant on Stadium Boulevard.

I had the Chick’s Plate (3 tenders, one dipping sauce (I had Blue Cheese), and Texas toast for $4.99. It was good and we’ll be back.

But the first thing Maria noticed as we stood in the briskly moving line was that they have Red Gold tomato ketchup. Red Gold, as you may or may not know, is made in our home state of Indiana and, in our judgment, is the best ketchup in the world. Unfortunately, the local Kroger does not carry Red Gold ketchup. So whenever we travel to Indiana or have guests from Indiana, we make sure a resupply of Red Gold ketchup is part of the deal.

We like it mainly for the flavor and the Hoosier connection. For me, the added benefit is that it’s not Heinz. Ever since it came to light that John Kerry married into the Heinz fortune, I have banned all Heinz products from our house. All of them.

People of Walmart – the book

One of my favorite web sites has published a book! Yes, peoplofwalmart.com, the same one that I’ve got a link to over there on the right side of the blog.

They’ve published Shop & Awe, which promises to be paralyzingly funny. Here’s the Amazon.com description:

As Americans, we hold these truths to be self-evident: We will shop. And when we do, especially at our favorite supercenter, we will wear and do the most bizarre things possible.

From the wildly popular website PeopleofWalmart.com, this photo collection of Americans in their natural shopping habitat (70 percent of which is brand new and never before included on the website) presents people of all shapes and sizes wearing and doing everything imaginable in full view of their fellow shopping public. Plus, for the first time brand-new fan-submitted stories offer the most random experiences you can imagine!

So welcome to a world where no shoes and no shirt are no obstacles, where parking lots are filled with dead deer, Bengal tigers, and old men in thongs riding bikes. Once you meet the People of Walmart, you are sure to fall in love.

World War I simplified

Got this from my friend Richard Windisch:

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of the pub,when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria’s pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria’s trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper.

When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there.

Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.